Dear Disabled Veteran Cardboard Sign Beggar Guy,

I recently stopped at your light near the intersection of State street and 12th, and I was impressed with your location (the first rule of business, location). I passed by about a week ago and saw you standing there wit hyour sign, and my heart really went out to you… (im a veteran too, but I have money, and bills, so I did not donate).

While passing today, I found that you had made a very good marketing investment. When other homeless people are investing in new cardboard, and thick sharpies, you took it one step further, kept the old sign, and purchased yourself a wheelchair.

Absolutely brilliant. Im sure you had to balance the investment against a quick Meth fix and a 22 oz can of Steel Reserve, but in the end, I feel you have made the right choice.

Not only will you make more money, but the “marketing expense” you just incurred is no doubt fully deductible in this fiscal year. THis will save you greatly on the taxes that you already don’t pay.

Well, Mr. Homeless veteran, I salute you and your upper level marketing decisions. You should soon get promoted to a much better location, with much more generous and rich passersby.

And you won’t even have to walk…just don’t get a DWI.